Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow. We must fail in order to know. Sometimes our visions clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears!
Life has a bizarre way of teaching us exactly what we need to know. We can either choose to see this and listen very closly to the teaching at heart or we can choose to fight the nature of the cause and create more misery for ourselves. The choice is very personal and individual, depending on where you are at in your life and your state of mind at the time.
I have chosen to open my eyes and to listen very closely. Paying very particular attention to what my life needs and not so much to what I desire. I may have to be lonely and sad a little bit along the way, but the end result will bring me true happiness, because ,I listened DEEPLY to my heart and dove DEEPLY into my soul to find out who I really am, what I truely have to offer , and what I truely deserve from others and from life itself.
May you all find your true happiness, enjoy!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Introduction to the dark
These are my personal thoughts and battles I am seeking the answers too. I am a mother of 4, 3 boys and a daughter (3 months old). In my 2nd marriage (first one was a joke) and just am dealing with alot more than I feel like I can handle sometimes. I am renewing my life. I am kicking cigarettes, started to walk/run (inspired by my pomerade) and want my mind to flow against the wind.
I am sick and tired of saying "I need to lose weight, I need to get organized, I need to smile more, I need to stand up for myself, I hate my body, I look fat, my butt disgusts me, thunder thighs." It is time to just get up and freakin change it. I can say my marriage is FAR from perfect. I have a husband who does A TON for me and my kids and has given up alot for us.
But he has a side that he just outbursts everything that makes him mad, the house we live in sucks, he can't stand the way the teenager just lies to him and me, he wants a bigger, better car, house, etc. Get the point?
I love him with my whole soul, I do. The thing with him is his issues and the way he goes about releasing his feelings. We can be mean, but who can't? We have both said things we regretted, we both love each other very much. While I can say we have said some awful things in a fit of anger, there is no forgetting that, is there? You can say things out of anger and then say its ok. But is it? I mean, the person you take vows with, have children with, share everything with, should not have memories of hurtful words. I will name him Mr. October.
I am sick and tired of saying "I need to lose weight, I need to get organized, I need to smile more, I need to stand up for myself, I hate my body, I look fat, my butt disgusts me, thunder thighs." It is time to just get up and freakin change it. I can say my marriage is FAR from perfect. I have a husband who does A TON for me and my kids and has given up alot for us.
But he has a side that he just outbursts everything that makes him mad, the house we live in sucks, he can't stand the way the teenager just lies to him and me, he wants a bigger, better car, house, etc. Get the point?
I love him with my whole soul, I do. The thing with him is his issues and the way he goes about releasing his feelings. We can be mean, but who can't? We have both said things we regretted, we both love each other very much. While I can say we have said some awful things in a fit of anger, there is no forgetting that, is there? You can say things out of anger and then say its ok. But is it? I mean, the person you take vows with, have children with, share everything with, should not have memories of hurtful words. I will name him Mr. October.
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